As you all know I was that girl, the one who married when I was barely 20 to the wrong kind of guy. Fast forward and it didn't work out. Looking back now, I know that relationship was toxic but I have learned some very important things about relationships and life in general.
Communication is key in a good relationship! That is right, you must talk to each other. I can't read minds and neither can my fiancée and sometimes I get all hussy and fussy because I think he will automatically know what I am thinking. No, he doesn't have a special view into my mind that says " Hey get this girl some chocolate." I have learned that if I want something I need to actually speak up and ask for it. Too bad things can't magically appear!
So this is my list!
1. Your significant other cannot read your mind!
2. Avoid Humility and judgmental conversations.
Have you ever looked at your significant other and said " You are doing it wrong", " You are so selfish", " You have ruined my life." If you have trust me you are not the only one, I use to say these things all the time. It only calls for them to curse you, call you bad names, and for the argument to get more heated than it should be. Instead try something like " When you don't show me affection, it makes me feel lonely." Bring yourself into the conversation and explain how you are feeling. Do not attack or belittle the other person.
3. Listen without interrupting.
This is huge for me because so often I feel the need to blurt out whatever I am thinking. Sometimes, our spouses and significant others simply need to vent. They don't need our advice and nagging all of the time they simply want to talk with out interruption. This means waiting to check facebook, turning the television off and really listen to them.
4. Don't bring up things that happened forever ago.
Another thing I am guilty of. I will bring up what Josh said that made me mad last year. Simply just to prove a point or to start a argument. Seriously like the song says " Let it go." It is done and over with, why must we bring it up and rub it in their faces over and over again. Once you have gotten over it, leave it in the past where it belongs.
5. Watch your tone.
When you are talking to someone and talk with an attitude the person on the other end of the conversation is going to get defensive. If you sound depressed, or mad, chances are the person you are speaking with is going to take it as that is how you are feeling.
6. Before you scream, take a moment.
Sometimes, I simply have to excuse myself. I can feel my blood starting to boil and I know if I stand there for one more second something is going to escape my mouth that I will regret. Explain to your partner you need a second to pull it together. Maybe, for you this means listening to music, breathing deeply, saying a prayer or hopping in the shower. When you have calmed down you can go and have a conversation with your partner with out screaming your head off.
There are so many other tips you can use to communicate effectively with your spouse but these are just a few that I personally like and have learned. Communication is very important in a relationship without, what would your relationship be? Make sure you treasure your relationship.
Here is to hoping everyone has a blessed week
Megan, a stay home mom who wants to try new products and let you know what I think of them!