Life is unfair. How many times have we been told that before. It is true but you know what it is what it is. We learn from our mistakes and from the mistakes of those around us and we need to move on. My mom, whom I love dearly was in and of my life a lot when I was a child. I grew up with major trust problems. I grew up the child of an alcoholic and an addict. I grew up trying to parent my parent. It hurt. I cried a lot and to this day I still do. I wanted to have that family where my mom or parent came and took you out to do something fun. My mom has taken me to do fun things in my life and I am thankful for her because there are so many people who do not have a mother in their life. I am telling you this because I have learned from it. I think it why I am super attached to my daughter. I want her to know that I will never leave her. I want her to know that she is my priority and that I would sacrifice anything for her needs. I want to be that mom that cries with her when some boy breaks her heart because I know how awful it feels. I want to eat ice cream out of the container and watch a movie just to cheer her up. I want to be silly and loud and embarrass her. I want her to know she can count on me. I will be at her dance recitals or softball games or her dress rehearsal for the play she is in. I will learn how to do make-up and I will figure out how to do her hair in different styles. I want her to feel like she can come to me for anything. I want to learn along side of her. She has taught me so much and I know there is so much more I will learn from her. I have pushed people away, gave up on my dreams and forgotten who I wanted to be. This has happened because I was scared. All I have ever wanted was to be accepted. I never was the girl with the coolest clothes. I had no idea you were actually supposed to have a skin routine. My sister taught me how to do my make-up but some lady that wasn't in my family taught me how to shave my legs in the fourth grade. This isn't how I want me daughter to have to learn things, I want to show her how to shave her legs when she is ready. I want her to understand that cool clothes may be the in thing but there is much more than outward appearance. I want to help her pick out her first prom dress. A mother and daughter bond is a real thing. I see so many people out there that have that bond. My mother and I are closer now. She is trying to be apart of my life and we speak everyday. She has come along way from where she was, but I embrace the fact that my dad raised me. That so many people had a part in showing and teaching me things. I am so lucky compared to so many. However, I refuse to fail my daughter. I will be there standing tall and smiling for her, and I will be proud of her. I know we will have differences all families do but at the end of the day, I will be there.
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I can totally relate. I grew up with an alcoholic and addict as well, and I felt like I didn't really have "parents" growing up. I, like you, am making sure our kids never feel that way - that they know we're there for them always. Kudos to you for breaking the cycle!
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AuthorMegan, a stay home mom who wants to try new products and let you know what I think of them! Archives
November 2017
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